When it comes to managing emotions, it’s not an easy task, even for us adults. So, it’s no surprise that our kids wear their hearts on their sleeves, displaying their sadness, frustration, disappointment, and anger without holding back.

When emotions run high, explosive outbursts can hurt both the child and the people around them – friends and family alike. That’s why it’s essential to start teaching our kids how to manage their emotions from a young age.

No matter how smart or diligent our child is, without the ability to manage emotions, they might not reach their full potential. In many ways, emotional intelligence might play a bigger role in their future than other skills. As parents, nurturing our child’s emotional intelligence prepares them for future challenges.

Recognizing Different Emotions

Firstly, our kids need to recognize and differentiate between emotions. We, as parents, can lead by example. Don’t hesitate to say things like, “I’m happy” or “I’m sad.” Doing so gives our children a chance to learn by mimicking us.

From a young age, our children observe and emulate our emotional responses. For instance, if we express fear upon seeing a plant’s thorn, our child might adopt the same emotional response, helping them avoid potential harm. Teaching our kids to identify and be aware of their emotions is the first step we can take to guide them.

If our child can understand, we can explain our feelings, both good and bad. For example, “I’m happy because you smiled” or “I’m a bit scared because that person spoke loudly.” Picture books can also be helpful. Let’s have them guess whether the characters are angry, happy, or sad.

Being Aware of Their Emotions

Often, in the heat of the moment, our kids might not notice their emotional changes. We can guide them. For example, when they’re angry, we can say, “I noticed you’re breathing heavily. You seem upset!” It’s also good to let them know it’s okay to feel. “You’re probably upset because it’s getting dark and time to go home, but you still want to play in the park, right? It’s okay to feel angry.”

Moreover, encourage them to express the root of their emotions, allowing their cognitive abilities to kick in. When our kids feel their emotions are acknowledged and understood, they’re less likely to be on the defensive.

Teaching Ways to Deal with Emotions

Once our kids understand their emotions, they might still be unsure how to handle them. If we always suppress or ignore their negative emotions, hoping they’ll stop, it might backfire. Instead, through daily experiences, we should model and guide them on how to express and manage their feelings. For example, if they frequently get angry, we can ask them:

• When do you usually feel angry? Like when being misunderstood?
• What shouldn’t you do when you’re angry? Like hitting or throwing things?
• What can you do when you’re angry? Like taking deep breaths.

Emotion education is proactive. If our child knows alternative actions when feeling angry, they’ll make better choices. It’s crucial to show them both what they “can’t do” and “can do.” Banning actions without providing alternatives won’t achieve the desired results. Telling them, “Hold back your anger!” won’t work. It might stop the action momentarily, but it won’t curb the growing anger inside, adding to their stress. It’s not just about setting boundaries; it’s about guiding them to find emotional outlets.

Lead by Example

Kids often look to us, parents, to learn how to react. If we lose our cool quickly, they might mirror that, using anger to cope. Especially if they witness explosive temper tantrums, it might be overwhelming for them, preventing them from grasping the message we’re trying to convey.

This doesn’t mean we can’t ever get upset. But, being aware that we’re role models for our kids is essential. If we can keep our emotions in check, we can show them how to address problems. On the other hand, showing warmth, acceptance, and appreciation creates a supportive environment for them. It’s beneficial for their emotional development.

Teaching What Values Are Important

For older kids, knowing that controlling their emotions can benefit them might help them keep their feelings in check. For instance, during a sports game, if they’re provoked or faced with foul play, reacting might play into the opponent’s hands. It’s better to focus on the game to win ultimately. With this mindset, even in future conflicts, they can brush it off with a smile.

Takeaways

Emotional intelligence is crucial for our children’s emotional and social development. Even we adults sometimes struggle with our feelings, let alone our kids. Thus, it’s vital to nurture their emotional management skills early on, starting from recognition to appropriate expression.

A child with emotional management skills doesn’t mean they won’t have negative emotions or reactions. It means they can swiftly adjust their emotions in various situations. Achieving this requires patience, practice, and ongoing self-reflection.